


The passion purest

by JanaRumpandRCJawnn (JanaRumpandRCJawwn)



Series: A hundred sonnets [5]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Victorian, Getting Together, M/M, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Omega/Omega
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 16:48:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16685392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JanaRumpandRCJawwn/pseuds/JanaRumpandRCJawnn
Summary: It was no secret that Yuuri had never been a great conversationalist, and so the mere perspective of having to openly talk to Viktor about his feelings and where they stood with each other was most distressing.--Between Mr. Chulanont's visit and fast approaching Christmas, Yuuri has much to think about.





	The passion purest

It was no secret that Yuuri had never been a great conversationalist, and so the mere perspective of having to openly talk to Viktor about his feelings and where they stood with each other was most distressing. Furthermore, Yuuri was not prepared to face this moment when surely his wishful illusions were to be absolutely shattered. Because this relationship had no conceivable future, and he wouldn’t ever ask Viktor to hold true to a kiss that probably didn’t mean anything more than simple curiosity. So he avoided the topic. 

The most they had talked about it had been on that fateful morning. Viktor seemed happy enough with this unspoken arrangement, and really, Yuuri shouldn’t dare to hope for more. It wasn’t helpful that he didn’t have a single soul on which he could confide, not Father Celestino nor Christophe, for he couldn’t risk compromising Viktor in their eyes. He would never drag his lover’s name into the mud, not this time, not after Yuuko. All this played no small part in his anticipation for the 21st of December to come, and his best friend alongside it. 

“Mister Katsuki, when will Mr. Chulanont be arriving?” Yuri asked from his spot on a plush couch. Winter would soon be upon them, and classes had been moved to one of the smaller sitting rooms. The youth was probably just as excited as Yuuri about Phichit’s impending visit. 

His answer to the young beta was a pointed stare and a gesture to the stationary in front of him, trying to keep his pupil focused on his writing. Teaching Yuri to write poetry was a good excuse to reread the last poem Psique had had published on Christophe’s paper, a delight he kept absolutely private. The boy had curiously adored it, uninterested in romance as he usually was.

He knew he probably shouldn’t have shown a poem like that to the Young Master, but it had clearly been written with so much care. No matter how complete a hold Viktor had of his heart, he couldn’t leave Psique behind, couldn’t deny the warmth embracing his core every time his eyes glance over the paper.

_“What I have done for you no man has done;_  
_I have nor begged nor bought a common bliss,_  
_But what you are to me you were to none.”_

He wanted Psique to be able to be loved back by whoever the mystery person that clearly held _their_ heart was. 

“He should be arriving soon, correct? Grandfather said he’d be here for Christmas.”

Yuuri would usually ignore it when Yuri started to get unduly insistent, but he quite shared the sentiment this time and ended up caving. “He should be here in a week’s time, and will be staying till the second week of January.” It was a delightfully long while, he could scarcely believe his luck.

The boy’s smile was heartwarming as he perked up, embarking in ramblings about all the ideas he’d had for the time his newfound idol would be staying. He wanted to learn all about fencing, and insisted that Yuuri would have to participate on the classes as well, which the governess had to admit wasn’t the most attractive proposition. He had never been very fond of fencing, but he supposed it couldn’t hurt to participate just this once. Phichit would probably be delighted by it, so it wasn’t bound to be all that bad. He could feel the smile dancing on his own lips remembering fondly of the visits his friend used to make.

He remembered meeting Phichit Chulanont a summer back when Yuuri had been merely seventeen, friendly personality as colorful as the dresses he wore, all alone studying abroad. Yuuri knew already he himself wasn’t quite the average omega, already did not think he could find the love of his life on a beta, and curiously enough he felt enough trust on Phichit to confess it. Perhaps because this friend came from so far away, or because he seemed ever confident and so unique, Yuuri had hoped despite all sense that Phichit was like him. His friend _had_ blushed fiercely but smiled just as openly, and listened enraptured to Yuuri’s telling of his infatuation with Yuuko. He never did seem as charmed by romance as Yuuri was, but lent him the most attentive ear. 

They hadn’t keep in contact as much as Yuuri would have liked to since he came to this Manor, and so the perspective of a few weeks together positively made him tremble in excitement. 

“Mister Katsuki, pay attention when I’m speaking! You always go into your own head instead of attuning to the real world.” Yuri huffed, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring as customary, definitely more often that a fifteen year old should. 

-

It was very cold at the station on that particular Wednesday afternoon. Cold rain hadn’t quit pouring since early morning, chilling to the bone, which made Yuuri feel terrible about poor Leo sitting atop of the carriage. He had tried to convince the driver to at least wait out of the rain, but he seemed to take a strange pride on remaining on his post. 

Master Nikolai had allowed Yuuri to go greet his friend, having Mister Crispino come over for another lesson in his place for the evening. Yuuri did not envy the tutor today, for Yuri had been antsy the entire day and had thrown something akin to a fit when not allowed to join the governess at the station. Lilia had scolded the boy so harshly afterwards Yuuri _almost_ felt bad for him. Viktor had also offered to join, but Yuuri did not trust himself to keep a straight face around the footsman and he did not wish for Phichit to suspect anything as of the moment, so he insisted that Viktor’s help would surely be needed to prepare the manor for its guest.

There was only one train stopping here today, scheduled to arrive in five minutes, but one could never know if the train would be on time. He felt like a young omega again, waiting excitedly for a guest to arrive at his parents inn. The sting of guilt didn’t miss him at the thought of his family, of spending this Christmas away from them, a first without his mother cooking or Mari sneaking some liquor for them or Yuuko greeting him first ng in the morning. His birthday had been perfect in its novelty, it’s true, but still he missed his family something fierce and wished in vain he could be a part of their life without bringing shame upon their name.

The train’s whistle soon sounded, much more cheerful than his musings. Yuuri leaned out of the carriage’s window, smile already pursing his lips. It didn’t take long for him to spot the lively figure of his friend coming out of a first class carriage. The alpha’s smile was most bright once he saw Yuuri waving. Behind him a poor train servant carried trunks probably too heavy, and by his side stood an alpha maid Yuuri had never met before with a large umbrella over them both, ever the highborn. Yuuri made sure to open the door so both of them could move inside as soon as possible. 

Before anything was said, Phichit surged close to hug him tightly in a more intimate fashion that was probably recommended, but he wouldn’t dream of putting up a fight in this. “I missed you so much, Yuu!”

“I missed you too, Phichit.” They had aged, but it somehow didn’t feel like so. 

After quite some moments he patted Phichit on the back, waiting for an introduction to the carriage’s third occupant, who seemed content looking on their reunion in stoic silence. “I’m Katsuki Yuuri, pleased to make your acquaintance.”

Phichit let go of him to sit back, somehow exuding even more happiness and ease than the last time they’d met. “Oh, I didn’t ever mention Seung on my old letters, did I? Then you moved without so much as providing me a new address,” At that Yuuri received a pointed glare, which he sheepishly accepted as fair. “And lately I was so distracted with the idea of coming over to see you I didn’t write much else. If it wasn’t for that mysterious Mister Nikiforov’s message I’d probably never find you in this end of the world of an island.”

Yuuri just stared in awe at his friend, smiling at each and every word despite their content. That is until the maid interrupted his spiel, righting the persistent lack of proper presentation. He bowed respectfully, tone low and flat. “I’m Seung-gil Lee, Master Chulanont’s personal maid. Likewise pleased to meet you, Mister Katsuki.” 

Yuuri chose not to dwell on his totally neutral expression, clashing as it did with Phichit’s own, and trusted that his friend had established between them friendship beyond customary as he was wont to do. “Thank you for taking care of my dear friend. I know well that he can be quite a handful sometimes.”

Phichit pouted, faking offense, but soon enough was smiling anew and telling him all about his travels. He asked about the island, and it hit Yuuri that he hadn’t actually gotten to know it as much as he would have liked to. Truly he’d only been to the manor, the church and Christophe’s home. So he promised Phichit that when the rain abated they would properly tour the village with Master Nikolai and Yuri - to himself he kept the will to bring Viktor along, trying to smother such expectations of above and beyond companionship, hopeless as they surely were in truth.

Eventually Leo stopped the carriage and hurried to open the door for them, Phichit giggling as they made their way out. “Curious to finally meet both Lords Plisetsky. Have to make sure they are not abusing my naive darling of a friend.”

As they made their way inside, Yuuri couldn’t help but partake in the excitement, eager for the weeks to come with Phichit by his side. 

Walking through the main entrance for once was somewhat jarring, and he tried not to worry about Miss Baranovskaya scolding him later for breaches in protocol. The heavy double doors opened to the sight of the whole staff plus the masters of the house waiting, Yuri adorably grinning a tad too large while trying to keep his composure. He perked up and strided over in a confident if boyish manner.

“We’re delighted to receive you in our manor, Mister Chulanont. I trust your trip was pleasant?” He was surprisingly polite, even going as far as taking Phichit’s hand and brushing a light kiss over it, bowing accordingly as he did so. Yuuri could only assumed the pride on Nikolai’s eyes was mirrored on his own. The improvement was visible, even if given in part to Yuri’s personal interest in causing a good impression. His eyes went to Viktor then, standing behind Master Nikolai, and Yuuri couldn’t keep the soft smile from his lips, because this was his doing and it was the sweetest gift he could imagine. 

\--

Yuuri knew he had to do something special for Viktor’s birthday. It had been very difficult finding him a gift, for he wanted to give Viktor something as wondrous as he surely deserved (though nothing short of the world would suffice in truth). So he saved as much of his earnings as possible and ordered it from a store he knew in the Capital. It should arrive in a few days, hopefully before Christmas, and he couldn’t wait to see how lovely Viktor would look in it. Certainly better than how Yuuri looked right now, for one. 

He still couldn’t believe he’d let Phichit convince him to do this. He had believed he would be sitting on the sidelines watching as his masterful friend fenced with Yuri, along Mr. Lee and perhaps having some tea. Instead his friend had declared they were all going to fence - and by that he did mean all, including Yuuri, Seung, Mila and even Viktor. Miss Baranovskaya had presented only the slightest objection, constrained in face of a esteemed guest, but Phichit was relentlessly determined and lended everyone proper outfits from his own collection. Georgi, upon his refusal to participate arguing to be too faint of heart for such activities, was just as well roped into baking special treats for the occasion. Mr. Chulanint had everyone in the household wrapped around his finger in no time, as usual, and Yuuri was unsurprisingly no exception, now finding himself downing a garment he had never before considered to wear. 

Tight fitting pants like these were more suitable for betas than for omegas and alphas, yet all of them stood in the gardens dressed alike, in boots to warm at least their feet on the frigid if fortunately sunny weather. Young Master Yuri was no doubt excited, walking around with a sizeable smile on his face, and judging by her profusion questions on stance and hold of the foil Mila shared the sentiment. Mr. Lee was helping Phichit adjust the last details of his intricate clothes of choice (he’d declared it was fundamental to look the part of a teacher in this gathering, and Yuuri couldn’t completely parse the weight of jest or eagerness in that). The governess couldn’t help but watch them, if only to keep himself from making eye contact with Viktor - who hadn’t said a word since they had all gotten dressed. The man had become unnervingly silent at some point between his retreat to change out of his heavy winter skirts and his return, and on risk of being self centered, Yuuri fiercely wished his own perhaps unsightly form wasn’t at fault for this distance. 

“Let’s start working with pairs, I’ll join Mr. Plisetsky. Seung, my dear, can you help Miss Mila. Yuuri and Mister Nikiforov should be fine with each other.” Phichit declares, and none dare challenge his easygoing authority. “We will start with simpler movement, and after a tad we should be good enough for some friendly sparring.” He made a grab for his own foil, previously laid with care on the ground, and stood tall before the young man. “En garde.”

Phichit had in not two steps put Yuuri’s pupil in a spot, which was distracting, but not as much as Viktor’s complete lack of coordination when wielding his borrowed foil was astonishing. For all the ability the footsman had in dancing and grace in carrying himself, those did not seem to transmit into fencing. Yuuri managed to easily sidestep his too far reaching lunge, laughter almost escaping his lips. He did not want to make Viktor embarrassed, but it was all too amusing. The other omega did not fall, but stumbled a bit before turning back to Yuuri with a slight blush across his cheeks. He tried to move in again, but Yuuri had absolutely no problem parrying. He wasn’t great at fencing himself, but Viktor was for once too easy to read. For a while they went on, until it became clear that nothing was about to change, Viktor’s rare inability finally sending Yuuri into a barely suppressed fit of giggles, ungraceful snorting joining in upon a flourish done particularly wrong sent his dear’s foil to the grass. Impolite as it was, he couldn’t help himself at the moment, the scene endearing enough to ward off the all encompassing chill of winter. 

The other pairs at last stopped to look at them, and his cheeks positively burned. “I’m sorry, Viktor. I mean no offence, it’s just-”

Before he could even finish his sentence, Viktor was up and had a hand to his shoulder, squeezing lightly. “It’s absolutely fine.” His own lips stretched in a smile, flushed cheeks nearly just as pink. “Even I must recognize I’m clearly hopeless at fencing. Perhaps it would be more beneficial to our party if I sat and watched instead.” Viktor didn’t seem hurt, but Yuuri felt a tinge of guilt all the same. As if reading it in his expression, the footsman added. “Really, it is no problem. Surely watching Mister Chulanont’s devastating victory will be entertainment enough.”

As if on cue, Phichit hopped to lean on Yuuri’s side, ever present smirk in place. “So let’s take this pause to get our little championship started.” Yuuri knew how this was going to end, he had seen Phichit and his friend was nothing if not competitive to the very bone, ever trying so fiercely to be admired, to leave a mark. Yuuri smiled for him, his own competitive nature rearing its head as well despite how inappropriate it could be. “And as a prize I want-”

Predictably, Yuri fell for the bait, perking up and jumping into the conversation as the governess had been waiting for some time already. “There is no evidence you will win, Mr. Chulanont.”

“Then prove me wrong, Mr. Plisetsky.”

-

It was the middle of the night, and Yuuri was aware he should have been asleep for quite a while, but it was all too much. The anticipation for the holiday and, much more importantly, Viktor’s birthday wouldn’t let him rest. He’d given his all into preparations, endeavoring to rise to the occasion and make Viktor feel the complete adoration Yuuri had for him, such self inflicted pressure leading to a most restless night. Yuuri ended up pacing the halls in his robes, trying to convince his mind that it would all be just fine. 

Almost without though he came to knocking on Phichit’s door at what must have been right after two, hesitation giving away in face of the light turned on inside and faint sound of voices. There was rustling beyond the door, and soon it cracked open just enough for his friend’s face to appear. He sighed in relief before turning back around.

“It’s just Yuu.” Phichit then faced him once more, now with a confident smile. “Did something happen, my friend?”

Self consciousness warred with curiosity aboud who could it be in his friend’s room at such a late hour. “I- I thought we could have a moment to talk, but if you are busy-” Before the sentence could even be finished Phichit huffed in good humor and grabbed his arm to pull him along. 

Yuuri had not yet been to the manor’s guest quarters, but clearly Phichit had made himself at home already. There were clothes scattered around, a bottle of wine at one of the small tables, but surely the most unique addition was Seung-gil Lee lounging on the bed wearing an atrociously colorful silk robe, the only familiarity lying on his unamused countenance. Yuuri felt his cheeks burning as he stared at the other alpha in quite some shock, and Phichit shifted sheepishly on his feet. 

“I should have probably told you this beforehand, but ever since we last met I discovered some things about myself.” It wasn’t hard to understand what that implied, not looking as his friend’s matching silk robe or how comfortable they both seemed in such dishabille. Yuuri still remembered how all those years ago Phichit had been so reticent to talk about desires of his own despite his flourishing personality and willingness to listen to _Yuuri’s_ woes. On the one hand he felt proud, on the other his own lacks seemed all the much starker. “I trust this isn’t distressing to you, “ then his tone took a turn to sly. “Specially with all the unsubtle looks between you and one Mister Nikiforov.” Yuuri wanted to curse Phichit’s perceptiveness, but instead just sighed, resigned, and let himself fall on one of the nearby armchairs.

He wasn’t even sure what to say. It felt rude to monologue about his issues when they were had clearly been spending some romantic time together. Viktor always felt like a dream, even now, and his concerns felt all so childish. He already had the birthday gift with him at least, but what if it was too much? What if he lost the little bit of Viktor he had managed to hold onto for now?

“You were right, it is clear when he is overthinking.” Mister Lee’s voice broke the tense silence that had set upon them, making Phichit chuckle all fond. 

“Glad to have your keen observations on my side this time.” To Yuuri he offered his hands to hold as they had so many times before, settling on the cushions next to him. “Tell me what plagues your heart, because it’s clearly done a number on your sleep.”

So, Yuuri told him about his silly infatuation with the footsman, about his concerns regarding Viktor’s birthday gift, about how a part of him was expecting for the jig to be up any moment now. He went on to ramble of his cowardice and deflection when it came to his true feelings, his assurance to Viktor that he didn’t expect anything to come out of their single night of transgression. 

Halfway through Phichit got up and reached for the bottle of wine, taking a swig straight from it before passing it to Mister Lee, and for that moment Yuuri wished he could go back in time back to when he was the shameless one, the one with answers to the matters of love. He didn’t even venture on the entire debacle with Psique, as this matter alone would take much more of their time than a night could grant, but by the time he finally stopped talking Yuuri felt light, temporarily free of the burden of his circling thoughts. 

“Yuuri, my dear friend, what is it that you want from me?” Phichit asked as silence once more stretched. “Do you want my honest opinion on this matter or do you wish for platitudes?”

Yuuri honestly couldn’t tell, so he settled with what felt best. “I want a sign in the right direction. My chest feels too tight, my head feels too full, and I have no idea what step I should take next.”

His friend nodded before crossing one leg over the other, leaning back, intelligent eyes fixed on his. “Tell him what you told me. Tell him how you feel, be honest. And if indeed all Mister Nikiforov is looking for are a few nights you of fun at least you will have your answer. That said, I can’t fathom a world in which he is not just as much smitten with you, my friend. He all but kisses the ground you step on, really. Would get you the crown jewels if only you asked it of him.”

Yuuri’s cheeks burned as much as his heart raced, impelled to trust Phichit’s judgement despite everything. But if Viktor loved him, why wouldn’t he have said something? Why had their passion come to such an end with the night? If he was truly interested in Yuuri, he would have certainly done more, he was not as coward as Yuuri himself. Still, for all his apparent levity, Phichit had the sharpest mind and had never been anything but utterly sincere towards him. And it _was_ rather like himself to be blind to people and relations, a layer of caution added on top after his last, reputation damning fiasco. 

“Mister Katsuki, not to be indelicate.” Mister Lee’s voice startled him, such rare an appearance it made. “You know what you must do, and it is very late. We should all probably go to our respective beds, we have a busy day ahead of us.”

Yuuri nodded without resistance, sheepish for having interrupted them so brusque and overstayed his welcome. Phichit hugged him tightly before he left, tapping his nose and insisting he should have more confidence on himself. Always easier said than done. 

The rest of the night he tossed and turned, catching no more than perhaps an hour of actual sleep. Yuuri rose with the sun, at once reaching for the neat package secure under his bed, breathing deep to center himself. He also made note that today he absolutely must talk with Phichit about his friend’s own life, the romantic in him craving their story, and his lovesick heart too craving the inspiration. 

The fear of what his confessions might bring had him unsteady on his feet and in his mind, so it was with warm familiarity that still in small clothes he sat on his desk and took out the stationary for a note. there wasn’t a lot of time before everyone left for the day’s mass, but perhaps it would be better if he left the present for Viktor to find when he came back later, if they had at least one more day without the weight of his uncalled for feelings on their friendship. 

He dressed in his most beautiful dress, one of Viktor’s careful stitch, and basked in its comfort as he made his way to the other omega’s room. Just as predicted it was empty when he got there, and Yuuri left the box on the bed with the note on top. 

The rest of the staff had already gathered around the table in the kitchens. As soon as he saw Viktor, Yuuri felt his heart tightening, but he walked over with a soft smile all the same. By God, he wanted to kiss him. Instead he just sat by his side, taking hold of pale hands as innocently as he could. “Happy birthday, Viktor.”

“Thank you, Yuuri.” He seemed so genuinely happy that Yuuri remembered, as if there was ever an option that he wouldn’t. Everyone else was talking around them, reminding him that this moment wasn’t private and he should probably avert his eyes lest them shine too much when facing such a star. Georgi handed Yuuri some muffins, but Viktor gave him no chance to respond, holding tight to his hands still. He leaned close to whisper in his year, and Yuuri hoped to the heavens his cheeks didn’t flush inappropriately. “I’m probably going to be busy most of the day, preparations for dinner you see, but perhaps we can have a moment later? Your company is what I’m looking for the most.”

The blush was unavoidable now, and in that moment Yuuri could perhaps believe Phichit was right after all, surely this couldn’t mean much else. He nodded in reply, turning his back a bit more to Mila (who was on his other side looking at them like the cat that got the cream). “I’d do anything you wish for today, and keeping you company is no task, in truth a gift for me as well.”

Viktor’s cheeks rarely got a tint of red, but the color did make an appearance then, much to Yuuri’s pleasure. Perhaps this would be a grand day indeed. 

-

The hours went by and took most of his optimism with them. Hail started falling half way through the morning, and Yuuri had to help Georgi in the kitchen seeing as all others were much too busy with preparations. He did not harbour any ill will towards the cook, but his focus couldn't help but wander each of the many times when the alpha retold the overly tragic story of his lost love. Yuuri had, in all honesty given up on trying to make any sense of the comings and goings of the beta lady’s engagement by now. 

He had barely seen Viktor during lunch, the footsman having much to do regarding the reception of guests later in the evening and the last of the Christmas cards to be sent, though at least Phichit did brighten his spirits every time he could sneak into the kitchens. Mister Giacometti arrived for lunch, bringing along his cat, young Minami, and at least a dozen packages to be left under the tree. He’d mentioned something about having received a letter form Mari, though claiming to not have read it yet for lack of time - Yuuri’s composure had been seriously threatened then, blood cold on his veins at the possibility of having been found, but he decided to put it off his mind for the moment. 

The Crispino siblings arrived not much later with news that the roads were an absolute icy mess. Master Nikolai had been quite upset at the prospect of missing mass, but he refused to put them all at risk, so it was determined this year they’d all stay and read a few Bible passages together instead. Young Master Yuri cheered a bit too much upon the news, receiving a reprimand firm enough to leave him pouting for the rest of the afternoon. 

And during all that the ghost of Phichit’s words haunted Yuuri, as well as the ghost of the note he’d left on Viktor’s bed. It wasn’t until dinner time that he and the other omega had some time to talk. Phichit was entertaining the gathering with a tale about how he had met Seung - a very dashing tale about going to train a Princess on the arts of fencing, befriending the maid at once and later challenging his student in a duel for the right to bring the other alpha along in his travels. It was staggering that somehow most people seemed absolutely unaware of the clear romantic subtext, but then again, Yuuri couldn’t judge.

“Oh my gosh, that’s fascinating, Mister Chulanont. And she didn’t take offense?” Miss Crispino asked, totally enthralled. 

His friend laughed and waved his hand as if in dismissal of her worries. “Oh, she sure did, I’m not allowed to ever visit again lest I cause a diplomatic issue.” All of them laughed, because Phichit could work a crowd like he could fence, impeccably. 

Yuuri looked around for a moment, hoping to see Viktor laughing as well, but the footman was nowhere to be seen. Mila had just served refreshments and Yuuri managed to sneak to her side on her way back to the kitchens, trying his best to be subtle. “Have you seen Viktor, Miss Babicheva?”

She grinned at him, _knowing_ he’d say if he didn’t know better. The only reason Phichit had him figured out was because they were old friends, surely he wasn’t so transparent. Mila leaned closer and whispered, as if confiding something precious to him. “I saw him going up to his room, I think he was going to change into something more suitable for dinner.”

Yuuri wished then to be able to just run, because there’s no way his note would pass unnoticed. His mind promptly provided the worst possible scenarios, hard as he tried to ignore it - either way, there was no escaping now, between icy roads and rare trains he had no choice but to face the music. 

“Mister Katsuki, if you allow me.” Mila’s voice was still pitched low, sounding kind and remarkably patient. “Perhaps you should go check on him? It has been a while since he left.”

He searched for an excuse not to, but Mila and Georgi had the kitchens under control and Yuri didn’t seem like he was about to disparage anyone’s lineage by being overly rude for now, so he gulped and nodded to the maid. With a smile and a pat to his shoulder Mila went on her way. 

The stairs towards the servant’s quarters felt like a steep hill as he took the steps. His heart pounded on his chest and his head shouted his fears and regrets. Almost a year ago he’d given in to childish hopes only to have his own life in shambles and disrupt that of those around him, all for a love he would never be allowed to live. The door to Viktor’s room was open, and Yuuri approached with blood pumping on his ears. 

“Viktor?” His voice sounded patently unsure as he stood at the door frame, hands shaking and terror in his heart. 

Viktor sat very still on the bed, the note on his hands, dress laying across his lap. His hair was more of a mess than Yuuri’d seen until this moment, such a beautiful sight. How could he ever expect such a man to feel for him what he does? His friend looked at him at last, and he _smiled_ so bright at Yuuri before getting up from the bed.

“Do you truly mean the things you’ve written on this note?”

Yuuri blushed fiercely, eyes looking down as he nodded. “I do not wish to impose of course, I don’t expect you to feel the same-”

Before Yuuri could finish the sentence, Viktor had both hands on his cheeks, gently urging him to look up. His expression was so very fond, almost as soft as his lips that for a second came to press the lightest of kisses to his own. “I do feel the same, Yuuri. I had thought we were already together, after the dance and our first kiss, but then you were so distant and I doubted. But never again, my love, I’m yours.”

His mind was slow to take it all in, wonder tinting his every breathless second, but finally he got his bearings. He felt so absolutely. “Already together? I do not understand.”

Later they would talk, later Yuuri would be enlightened on his missing pieces, but for now Viktor just shaked his head, perhaps unwilling to break this fragile moment they were finally sharing. He was pulled into a tight hug, as warm as summer, and Yuuri was too elated to fret if only for now.

“Let’s not go back for a while,” he proposed, and Viktor seemed more than happy to comply.

**Author's Note:**

> Almost at the end! One more instalment to wrap up the viktuuri part
> 
> The poem here is dear Marc-Andre Raffalovich’s, The world well lost XVIII, 1886. Give it a go on the Victorian Queer Archive!
> 
> Many kisses, please feel more than welcome to any questions or comments


End file.
